Sunday, August 28, 2016


I am officially 7dp5dt. That's IVF lingo for "7 days past 5 day transfer". Our embryo is 12 days old (or maybe 13 since they count fertilization day as day 0). That assumes, of course, that our embryo is still alive and growing. I hope it is, but thinking about it too much leads me down the worst-case scenario rabbit hole.

So I've been trying to keep busy. That was easy last week since work has been super stressful. I never thought I'd be glad for stress but it does keep my mind busy! Just in case you were worried (as I was) that stress could affect IVF success, it doesn't.

But I can't stay busy all the time. It's after the lights are off, the house is quiet, and I'm laying in bed at night that the fun over-analyzing and fretting begin. To be honest with you, I have had no real symptoms to speak of ... maybe a couple small things, but really anything that I do feel could be attributed to all the progesterone I'm taking. I'm also taking estrogen, so to say I'm hormonal would be an understatement. In the past, any symptom would be googled and thought about and timed and counted. Now, since I'm feeling nothing, I'm thinking about the possible reasons for that. Trying to prepare myself for bad news. How will we move forward? What if I have polyps again and the little embryo couldn't implant (this one haunts me!)? Should I test early to prepare myself?

I have blood tests scheduled for Wednesday and Friday morning. We will not get the results until Friday afternoon after the second test. They do two tests just in case the first is a false positive. I'm getting more nervous as Wednesday approaches. I'm sure this week will be much more difficult than the last. But there's nothing to do now except wait and hope and pray and wait ...